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that bites photo by
Justine
Parisio
unplug
emotional buttons
Emotional Buttons are "hot spots" that ignite when
something provokes a far memory... for example,
perhaps you were called "crazy" by a parent, and
now, whenever someone says something like "that's a
crazy idea" to you, it is extremely upsetting (much
more impactful than it should be). Whenever
you are upset by something, stop and consider how
deep the emotion is rooted - how much of your
reaction is to what is happening NOW versus what
happened THEN. Take steps to get over it
(unplug it) - such as talking about the hurt, making
peace with the past, perhaps even getting help...
FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real)... Fear
not, risk taking in reality is never as
scary as we imagine it to be... fear is
excitement without oxygen. Breathe!
Leave the past behind... you don't need to fix
everything that went wrong before in order
to become a success now... be where you are
now and set your sights for the future.
ANXIETY is an emotional response to stress
accumulated and often unidentified.
Resulting in agitation and distress, anxiety
can lead to consequences that are
persistent, excessive, and debilitating.
By identifying your triggers, you can begin
to manage anxiety and prevent it from
becoming a chronic problem.
AND DON'T "PUSH" THE BUTTONS OF ANOTHER:
CONSIDER SMART TALK
Say: You've said this before, so it must be
bothering you.
Don't Say: I knew you would say that.
Say: I feel upset/hurt/embarrassed/betrayed
when you do that.
Don't Say: You make me so mad.
Say: You're doing a great job, how about
trying this, too?
Don't Say: You're not doing it right.
Say: This is really important to me, would
you be willing to listen.
Don't Say: Why don't you ever listen to me?
Say: When you do/say that, I feel as if I
want to leave.
Don't Say: That's it, I'm leaving.
Say: You're right, something's wrong.
Don't Say: Nothing's wrong. What makes you
think something's wrong?
Say: I think we would be more effective if
we would agree more as a parenting team.
Don't Say: You always take the kids' side.
Say: That hurt my feelings. Why did you act
that way?
Don't Say: How could you do that to me?
Growth Climate - the
relationship experts
We
believe the best way to decrease abuse in
families is to help people identify healthy and
unhealthy relationship patterns. Our greatest
desire is to help individuals and couples
develop healthy relationships and to teach them
how to avoid the pain of harmful ones.
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links are not
endorsements but are suggested for your consideration in
furthering peace and harmony in your world, in your way.
please send your suggestions -
contact us.
He who angers you conquers you. ~ Elizabeth
Kenny
How to Keep People
from Pushing Your Buttons
Albert
Ellis, Arthur J. Lange
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