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bespectacled photo-image by Tamara
Parisio
belief system
Recognize that you hold beliefs, and in the
recognition of them, offer yourself choice
and allow yourself the freedom to express to
yourself:
‘‘I recognize that I incorporate this
particular belief -- that there are outside
elements that are creating my reality for me
and that I am victim to, and that I am not
creating this aspect of my reality.
And in recognition that I incorporate that
belief, I may choose to offer myself the
freedom to not be responsive to that belief
and to offer myself the freedom of
incorporating responsibility for my choices
and my reality,’’
....which allows you to manipulate your
reality. ~ Elias
Your belief system is built based on past
experiences, thought, and the manner in
which you process thought. Your thoughts
about life, which you have come to believe,
are true to you. With these thoughts, your
belief system, you conduct your life.
Past experiences and your belief system
affect how you choose to perceive current
situations. Your belief system can
change, just as you can change your
attitude. And, it is essential to
change your belief system in order to have
long-term change.
Here is a helpful diagram of how your belief
system affects your perception:
JUDGMENT
Every thought is a judgment. How we
think determines how we feel. How we
think and how we feel determines how we
behave. It is essential to know that
you do not always have to act upon your
thoughts and feelings.
One holds
a belief system - a determination of right
and wrong, of good and bad; a prejudice
based on past experiences. With this
predisposition, one creates judgments upon
the behavior and activity that is
experienced, including experiences within
relationships. On some level, one
created the situation for one's own benefit.
Feelings are love based or fear based.
When they are fear based, the resulting
behavior can be disrespectful. When
feelings are love based, behavior is always
respectful.
ESTABLISHMENT OF CORE BELIEFS:
four factors in a child's development that
become part of the belief system of the
adult
1. Self-image: how we perceive ourselves
2. Relationships: how we perceive our
relationship with others
3. Needs: how we perceive our own needs
4. Sexuality: how we perceive our own sexual
feelings and needs
HARMFUL BELIEFS - FAULTY ASSUMPTIONS - AND
POSSIBLE RESULTS
1. I am a bad, unworthy person
from family experiences, the conclusion is that
one is not worthwhile; harboring a sense of
inadequacy and failure; self destructive
behavior; isolation
2. No one would love me as I am
the belief is that everyone would abandon one; there is a constant fear of being
dependent on others; one assumes all
responsibility for the pain in those who
are loved; one
becomes unreachable personally as all avenues of
vulnerability are closed
3. My needs will never be met if I depend on
others
resulting rage becomes internalized as
depression, resentment, self-pity or suicidal
feelings; rage about unmet needs in the past
prevents the ability to express needs now
because of anticipated rejection;
4. Interaction is about control
high need to control all situations; seeking
degrading or humiliating experiences
extends internal feelings of unworthiness
To
survive in Abusive relationships, many significant
others - whose belief system is usually erroneous,
too - lose their
self in these behaviors:
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disregarding one's own intentions |
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overlooking another's behavior that is painful |
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covering up bad behavior of another |
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appearing cheerful when hurting |
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avoiding conflict to keep up appearances |
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letting one's self be disrespected |
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allowing one's own standards to be compromised |
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faulting self for family problems |
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believing one has no options |
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